Watch for warning signs

Dear Straight Talk: I'm worried that my friend "Greer," who is 17, might be suicidal. He is acting strange lately, but I don't want to make a big deal out of nothing and get him in trouble. After making plans to visit his dad in Montana, they had a fight, but other than that I don't know what is troubling him. He just never wants to do the usual stuff anymore. He sleeps all the time when he's not working and he's obsessed with the movie "Into the Wild" and talks about putting on a backpack and getting out of here. Am I worried for no reason? I checked on the Internet and these are some of the signs but what do I do without causing a big thing? I'm not his girlfriend (he doesn't have one), but I care about him. — Please help!From Farren, 20: Warning signs are really hard. A lot of teenagers go through depression, sleep a lot and pull away from family and friends, but they're not necessarily suicidal. The only way to know is to ask him. Tell him you are worried about the changes in his behavior. Dear Please: Yes, you must ask him. In 80 percent of suicide attempts, the at-risk person exhibits recognizable warning signs and Greer is displaying five of them. Suicide has tripled in the last 40 years. In 2000, an average of 2700 youths ages 12-17 attempted suicide in this country each day. Of those, about 100 a day took their lives. Talking about suicide will not make someone do it. This myth silences family and friends who would otherwise communicate — and suicide is almost always preventable with communication. Below are the warning signs and "first aid" for suicide. Friends like you are often on the front lines in helping others and I wish these principles were taught in high school. Good luck. Warning signs:loss of interest in things one formerly cared aboutwithdrawal from family and friendstalking about suicidenot sleeping or sleeping a lotexhibiting out-of-character behaviorextreme changes in eating habitsunexpectedly visiting or calling people one cares aboutgiving away prized possessionssetting one's affairs in orderWhat to do:Gentle, yet direct communication works best. Arrange a private conversation and say, "Greer, you're not yourself lately." Tick off the warning signs you mentioned, then, ask the question: "You're not considering suicide, are you?" After you've asked: Listen and observe. Pay close attention to tone and facial expression. If they don't match his words, gently point that out and keep probing.If he does admit to suicidal feelings, take him seriously.Insist that there are other solutions besides suicide. Point out people who love him and reasons he has to live. Ask if he has a suicide plan.Do not keep the plan secret. Immediately tell an adult who can help. He wants you to.If he has no suicide plan, but admits to suicidal thoughts — or you suspect you're not getting the whole story — still, tell that adult. Do not try to handle this solo.If someone is actually attempting suicide, stay with them. You are their lifeline. Immediately call 911 or 1-800-SUICIDE. – Write to Straight Talk at www.Straight-TalkForTeens.com or PO Box 963, Fair Oaks CA 95628.