Ask Miki: That's no trophy, buster, that's my wife

Dear Miki:My husband is successful, an important citizen in our community and never misses a social event or fundraiser. I'm 22 years younger, very pretty and have a great body. Because of this, I get stares and whispers of "trophy wife" all the time. This bothers me immensely, and I have no idea what to do about it. My husband's brother is an outspoken bore and said to me, "Without my husband, you'd be nothing." I am not an educated woman (meaning I do not have several letters following my name) or a skilled professional. After two years of marriage, my husband remains unsupportive of my situation. He tells me to ignore it all, but I can't. What should I do?~ Trophy WifeDear Trophy Wife:Just ignore it the same way you did as his trophy date before marrying him. Whispers aren't louder and stares aren't longer, it's now you realize today's trophy wife must have good looks, be accomplished and ambitious and have a stellar career. As for brother-in-law's nasty remark, it's your husband's responsibility to let him know you're to be respected. This is no longer all about you. You've made him a trophy husband! He's successful and he's got gorgeous you. There are many women waiting for your title with a better resume.By the way, you didn't mention how tall you are. You better tower over him or you're out of business before you start. Dear Miki:My ex mother-in-law lives just a few miles from my mom, and I am still very close to her and my ex's family. Every Thanksgiving since I was married (20 years), my ex and I and my mom went to his mom's for Thanksgiving dinner. This will be the first Thanksgiving since my divorce, and my ex expects my mom and me to attend. My ex has a new girlfriend who will also be at the dinner. I would really love to see my ex mother-in-law for Thanksgiving and the rest of the family, but I'm not so wild about meeting the girlfriend because I was the "dumpee" in the divorce and still have some smoldering feelings for my ex. Should I: A. Tell my mother-in-law sorry I can't make it? B. Go for dessert or C. Have several glasses of wine and then show up, do a dance on the table and proceed to tell girlfriend all about him? ~ "Heidi"Dear Heidi:Do what your ex doesn't expect. Take your mom out for Thanksgiving dinner and give thanks that you're no longer a leftover to a control freak. Call your ex mother-in-law and arrange to come for a brief visit on the day before or after the holiday. Let the girlfriend learn on the job as you did.Put a smile on your face knowing there is the highest probability your phone rings with the five-years-have-past plea. It's only ex's knee jerk reaction after divorce number two. Nothing extinguishes "smoldering feelings" as much as a new love. Lose the "dumpee" syndrome and let your fine sense of humor land a guy to light your fire.As the song goes, "The time to hesitate is through. No time to wallow in the mire."Miki Garcia can be reached at askmikigarcia@yahoo.com.